During my lunch hour today I was organising and booking camping pitches for wedding #3, which is on Saturday. A few of us have decided to camp nearby rather than get a taxi home as there are no local hotels. I started a group email with about 15 people who are going to the wedding, and very quickly 'reply to all's began pinging into the inboxes up and down the country.
One couple not in the email list are LEA and JA4, two friends who I have got to know quite well over the past 3 years. LEA went to Uni with another friend Barbie, and through him, about 15 weekends away and several bottles of wine I have become really good friends with them both. They’ve recently bought a new house and I was emailing LEA last week about a possible night out in the homeland. She also confirmed that her and JA4 would take one of the camping pitches.
The next email is from Barbie saying that LEA and JA4 have split up.
I'm shocked. I have to read the words again to make sure I have understood correctly. There are no details, Barbie just says that he found out on Monday, and that LEA will still come to the wedding on her own.
I spend the rest of the afternoon wondering what has happened. I consider emailing one or both of them, but think better of it. I feel sad for them both. I am also sad that my friendship-through-a-friend with JA4 is effectively over. Although in theory it would be OK for me to speak to and hangout with him, in reality we became friends because of the fact that he was seeing (in fact practically married to) LEA who was good friends with Barbie. There is just not going to be the opportunity for us to hang out. Its really sad, but the chances are now that ill never see him again.
Ive got quite a lot of female friends, and thinking about it now I can recall at least 3 other guys from the past who I've got to know for years, grown to consider them as really good friends and then have them socially separated from me by a break up. This seems awfully unfair, especially when there are people like Mr Negative knocking about who I also spend time with because of their relationships with my friends, but who are complete dicks.
(Reading this back I guess I should be caring more about LEA feelings and what has happened rather than acting like its all about me.
Dam it.)
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On a separate note.
Do you ever jog up the stairs, get halfway up and then just loose all rhythm, get scared you might trip up, and then with your confidence in tatters have to hold the bannister and slowly start climbing again?
Oh, just me then.
ADHD, sinking cities, and cleaning up oil spills
22 hours ago
9 comments:
Dude, that sucks. I'd still keep in contact though.
As for the stairs thing, you're definitely not on your own. Although I tend to get it more on the way down, normally managing to fall over before sylishly(?) missing the bannister.
I'm with you brother! Why I even stacked it on the stairs at work yesterday, felt a right tit, bruising up a treat now.
I often think about the same thing, its wierd cos you are just 'cut off' from these people and you worry about offending the other party as you were their friend first.
BTW, Are you sure you aren't a wedding crasher?!
C Unit
I'm kinda curious what you gonna do with the penguin-suit - pardon me, I meant to say the tux - in the tent! :)
I do that all the time on the stairs...but i am clumsy! You are very athletic so I think you should start wearing a helmut!
That stinks about losing friends b.c of break-ups, but it isn't a reason to not keep in touch. Just be a good friend to the one who needs you and it will all work out ok!
Bummer…
Hey, so its you who always block my way and disturb my jogging rhythm up the stairs?
I think that's what people always take for granted with break-ups after really long term relationships- the practical stuff. Everyone is very sensitive to the emotional turmoil, but doesn't think of all the random details and changes involved, like who gets the DVD player and when are you ever going to see friend X again.
ryc: Smartbuddy you say tomato I say bangs! :D
Yep, it's a fringe. And the date was disastrous...
AMC; I hope to keep in contact, but recent revelations have made the situation more complex.
C-Unit; Good to hear youre a stair loser too. Weddings this summer have been crazy, im now 3 down, 2 to go.
Heart; See next post- the old people on their hols were loving us! Oh and 'returning your comment?' Im learning!
jenny; thanks, I hope it still might work out for them, but all was not what I saw (see next post)
Crash; yeah its me! Dont trip!
Princess; Shes having a terrible time- she was brave facing it over the weekend, but its obviously still a fresh cut. Theyve just bought a house too. Nightmare.
No, I've had this stair business happen
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