I'm not really into getting wound up about stuff that doesn't matter, but I have to vent some frustration on the 'Top Dives with Tanya Streeter' programme that was just on BBC2. I first heard about Mrs Streeter a few years ago when a friend said she had broken the mens' world free diving record- and that it was the only world record in which the female record was 'better' than the males. This was quite a cool fact, although Ive just checked and both her records (there were two- the 'Variable Ballast' and 'No Limit' categories) have since been bettered by men.
Anyway, Shes a world champion, and shes hot, so some bright spark decided to give her a presenting job. Unfortunately, for the spark, she is a most annoying person, and while she looks amazing, I found the things she was saying made me swear more than i have in a long time. She was, much like her silver diving suit, so far up her own ass it was painful to watch.
Her general chitchat always started with stuff like, 'when people ask me...' and then went into some self worshiping delusion like 'how I manage to hold my breath and stay calm for so long' or 'if I get scared when I dive so incredibly deep' or 'why I'm such an arrogant posh fucker' and she was grating me with her, 'is it me, or am I just so fucking wonderful' attitude.
Worse of all though she was just so stupid.
At one point they went looking for Whale sharks in the Maldives and while Tanya was looking for a 'pure' encounter, the only one available was with a juvenile (still probably 6-7 meters) that had 10-15 tourists in tow, snorkeling along thinking 'oh my god this is amazing'. They had, like Tanya, been waiting all day for their opportunity to swim with the biggest fish in the sea (I know - I've been on 3 whale shark snorkelling trips and never been lucky enough to see one), and Tanya was fucked off because she couldn't swim with it on her own. Then one of the tourists reached down and touched the sharks dorsal fin. Tanya was distraught. She said it was an 'invasion of space' and a 'crossing of the sacred boundaries between their world and ours'. She was also banging on about how the tourists were chasing the shark, scaring it, and 'not letting it escape'. The next scene she is crying at how fucked off and posh she is.
What a crock.
I agree that the guy shouldn't have touched the shark, but lets get some perspective here. Without the snorkeling tourists, a lot of the sharks would have been killed for their fins. Its because of the tourists and their money that the locals have a high incentive to look after the sharks and their environment. If the odd one gets touched in their conservation, OK, it probably shouldn't happen, but don't cry about it- be glad that this amazing species is still alive (unlike the Yangtze river dolphin, for example). Anyway, that isn't my point. In the next scene Tanya starts going on about how shes wants to 'study the sharks natural behaviour' and eventually they find one that she can swim around and look pretty with. In doing so she swims below and in front of the shark, at one point obviously forcing it towards the surface- something the tourists certainly didn't do. Then she narrates saying that she was careful to always allow the shark to retreat to deeper water, and that the interaction was on the shark's terms, not hers. This was, obviously not what had just been shown. She ends the scene talking about how wonderful she is for emulating the shark with her free diving.
In the end, the icing on her rimtard cake, she swims with sharks. We hear Tanya explaining how she is terrified of sharks, and very nervous about the encounter. With her tears after the whale shark touching incident still fresh in my mind, we see the reef sharks come to investigate her. She panics, freaks out and kicks them away with her fins.
Kicks them away!
Then she does it again! and again! I nearly exploded I was so angry with her. What a colossal idiot. On the boat she got off her high horse, and was like, 'oh i was so scared i just had to get them away from me'. Right, so its OK to lash out at animals, 'breaking the sacred bond', so long as you can justify it by being scared- of a reef shark that dont ever bite people. You could always get out after the first time you fucking airhead.
I hope she drowns.
Not really, obviously. I hope she doesnt make any more TV shows.
Not really, obviously. I hope she only makes TV shows with no sound.
9 comments:
Heh!
She sounds like a bit of a berk.
I missed the opportunity to swim with whale sharks in Perth - one of my biggest regrets.
She kicks shark? Can’t come up with anything better to say then: “damn!”
Ah, un-self-aware celeb pesters wildlife.
Always guaranteed to be infuriating and entertaining in equal measure.
I like when you are all angry and ranty! She sounds like the kind of girl I would like to kick in the teeth...therefore preventing her from speaking for a long long time!
I utterly agree with this post. She is without doubt INCREDIBLY annoying!
Yes, she's quite hot. And does look good in a wetsuit. But there's just no excuse for the poo that comes out of her mouth.
We have a large number of those people stuck in front of cameras here - just none of them are known for actually dointg anything prior to being on air!
It was a well-delivered rant!
And Mod - um...thanks for the single-most disturbing mental image I have had in months with "the poo that comes out of her mouth".
Um, you are swimming with sharks.
Should have thought about your whole fear of them beforehand.
Dude
I caught that show too, I concur she is hot but supremely irritating in her demeanour. If I were well educated in aquatic type shizzle like your goodself, it would've pushed me over the edge, I would have stoved the TV in.
Dont feel guilty man, having a rant at the TV is great fun though. J McG has remarked numerous times that he misses my judgmental sweary mary tirades at the TV
C Unit
Thanks again for your thoughts commenters. Im over it now. Im def getting a tad more moody in my old age.
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