Oh dear, more negativity to deal with. Not Mr N this time, I havent seen him for a bit, but this time my housemate Andre the giant idiot. He really is such a tool.
Our house bills get paid by M downstairs who is happy for us to pay her back the cash. I think it’s a bit unfair on her, but seeing how she insists on it (she likes being in the centre of the involve tree) im happy to carry on. Anyway, Andre the giant fraudster owes M downstairs £105 from various bills, dating back about 4 months. Andre the giant liar claims to have no money, and always promises it at the end of the next month.
This is strange. Andre the giant swindler regularly comes home ‘bragging’ - im not sure who to exactly, but he’s talking to me - about getting £30 or £40 or £50 worth of tips from his waiting job. He is also always buying designer clothes, accessories wine, more wine and even more wine, which seems incredible when you consider how often he steals other peoples wine.
He used to be best friends (his assessment, not hers) with L upstairs, but now has fallen out with her because she won’t spend every waking hour massaging his ego. The other day he was being Andre the giant bitch and said, ‘Ooooo, you’ve got fat!- you’re mum must have been feeding you up’ when she returned from a week at home. This is a bit rude, obviously, but then L told me she was a bit upset, because she ‘used to have a bit of an eating disorder’ which Andre the giant nob head knew all about. What a complete prick.
Worse of all, he really likes horribly bad music, like Euro-soul-swing (that category Ive just made up), and plays it excessively loud when hes feeling 'so depressed’ or ‘just so happy’ which are the only two moods he’s ever in, usually at stupid o’clock in the morning.
Anyway, rather than dis him any more on the internet, which I was taught to do better than by my mama, much like Destiny’s Child, I’m going to try to talk to him. Ill probably have to talk to his hand, in the full knowledge that his face isn’t listening, but talk I will try.
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Oh well, that’s the week done. Im off to Krakow for a 4 day stag do, so theres a fair possibility ill never be the same again.
I think the kids say;
‘Laters’
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7 comments:
That was the funniest shit I have read in ages...sorry to get suck a kick out of your misery!
The people who never have money alwasy seem to be the most lavishly dressed living it up people too! Assfucks!
I need to go pee now, still laughing though!
I did adore the Destiny's Child reference thrown inthe mix.
However, partially due to past experiences with, um, living partners, I have very little respect for people who cannot manage their cash.
It's one thing if you are honestly broke, which I certainly understand is one of the most frustrating states to be in.
But, seriously?? Bills and rent come first. That's just the way it is. M should get him evicted.
the kids say "laters", but what do you say? ;)
Have fun in Krakow.. but not too much fun, if you know what I mean ;)
Cheers!
This guy sounds like a chode.
Hide a turd in his room somewhere, then extradite him for crimes against hygiene.
..oh, and 'Involve tree'?
jenny! Glad you enjoyed it: the story has taken another twist, but I cant be arsed to waste time thinkging about him now.
Princess! Survivor is a great song, I also like the, 'Thought I wouldnt sell without you, sold 9 million' line, which beautifuly puts whoever it is in their place.
I say 'See ya' but Im not as cool as them kids. apart from the next post, Krakow was fantastic.
Toast, I heard about an ex who put prawns into their ex's curtains, which slowly drove the guy mad as they started to smell! The involve tree is under a lot of pressure from deforestation.
Deleted comment? What happened?
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