Emotional Easter

I'm really tired. I feel drained, worn out and I have so many things I need to think about. I think i feel worse as over the weekend Ive been on such a high. Its been another whirlwind fortnight and while I'm 'in' my new house in Plymouth, I feel like I'm starting off on a marathon of my new life having just got completely ruined the night before. For this moment at least i feel annoyed that i don't know anyone here, Ive uncovered some of the same insecurities i had when i first moved up to the lakes. Ill try to explain.

I got back from Kong and did the Bath half marathon. I did a 1.30.something so was quite pleased considering it was my first race for a year and my second best ever half marathon time. I had a week of messing about, viewed a few houses in Plym, but no great shakes really.

The next week I got a house sorted on Monday, drove back and forth to 'Stol a few times gathering my stuff and on Thursday I moved in, and got my first day at work out of the way - which I remember going quite well. Then Friday I got back into the car and drove down to meet some friends near Penzance, where we had hired a cottage for Fri-to-Mon of the Easter weekend.

The house was brilliant- a modern, super-comfortable 8 birth in a quiet little road just off the coast. It was a good mix of friends, 11 in all, most of which i knew well, some very well, some not so much. There were, inevitably a few cute girls, but most were what Id consider my 'friends' and pretty much off limits. I feel ridiculous trying to explain this a few paragraphs, but I had a great time, we did absolutely loads, including trips to St Ives, Praa sands, Portreath, Sennen, and the Minack Theatre, all of which have enough material for their own posts in the future. I felt surges of adrenaline when climbing down a cliff at Lands end to go fishing, a deep down chill to the bone after swimming for 15 minutes in the sea with no wetsuit and a moment of pure happiness coupled with intense brain activity analysing the significance of one of the aforementioned hotties resting their feet on my legs while we had a late night beer and film. This, in particular, I find amazing. Such a small, probably completely innocent, action on one persons part can lead to me thinking about it for days, and even writing it here.

Its ridiculous. Its incredible.

I woke up this morning with a slight cold and felt weak after too many days of too many beers and not enough sleep. I say 'too many' but id not swap the days for anything, i really wouldn't. Memories of sunny Easter weekends with friends are rare. Even now i find myself remembering the memories as some elite time in my life- but while they are happening they just seem to be happening. Good, but not as good as they are quickly recalled to be if that makes any sense. Maybe there is some built in human thing that stops us appreciating things as they happen - or maybe its just me that needs perspective to put things in the place they should be after the event.

Girl A, who seemed happy to be around me, and I had some good jokes with got a lift back to the train station with me, but there was no evidence of the possible previous flirting being born out. That said we were both tired and there was no previous opportunity, at least none big enough for me to take advantage of during the trip (no club visit with lots of alcohol, for example) so I guess ill never really know how she feels. Shes now back in the big smoke, 350 miles away (interestingly enough this was confirmed by text just as i wrote that...). I guess i should either enjoy the memory... or hope for a trip to London to present itself. Though I imagine that will sound somewhat stupid when i re-read this next week.

I had such a good time, I was enjoying myself so much, that i guess its inevitable for there to be a low now its over. Ive gone from a group of close friends to the 'new guy' in a share house- and I've done that so many times the novelty has worn off. But, that said, I feel better now than i did 40 minutes ago when starting this post. Though my brain is still ruined- I have 20 new faces to store in my head from work and Ive still got to meet (and hopefully like) some more housemates tomorrow - I have a feeling the new day will bring new hope.