Friday 16 February 2007

What to do if business is disrupted

Hey-Ho I'm back.
I'm not sure if its my lack of work to do at the moment, but I've been spending increasingly large amounts of time reading through some of the blogs on here, and man i like it. I can fly over to America and here about someones problems in New York, catch up on the gossip (from someone I don't know, about someone I don't care about) in Perth, and then come back closer to home and read some of my friends blogs without them ever knowing it.

Ive just read one such post (which seems awfully popular by the way- I wonder how long it takes to get an audience on this thing..) which was slating the whole corporate-phrase-culture that so inanely bounces out of managers' offices and inboxes around the country. I work (only for a few more more weeks though) at a government money wasting type place too, and in amongst the health and safety time wasting list, there are a few classic examples of complete and utter bollards. We are not, for example allowed to walk down the stairs without a hand on the hand rail- I kid you not. Nor is it allowed to use a fire extinguisher (even if you are locked in your office and ass has just caught fire, presumably) if you haven't attended the course on using fire extinguishers. The camel spiders back was however broken when told by my 'Manager' that I had to go on a 'hostile persons training' course, because I need it in my 'personal achievement folder' despite the fact that Ive been working all year without it, and will not be out of the office again before I finish work here.

Anyway, rant over. I point of this post was to put a light hearted spin on some of the management crap that goes on. We have lots of A4 sheets around the place, saying things like;

'Do you feel stressed? Follow these 5 easy tips'

'Take a 1 minute break from your desk every hour to make your day more productive'

Ive only just noticed the best one though. I went out to use the toilets, but they were busy, so i sneaked in the disabled one. Upon sitting down and preparing to drop, I noticed another sign on the back of the toilet;

'What to do if Business is disrupted'

You just couldnt teach it....

2 comments:

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Mother of God.

Tape your Manager to a wall and scream in her/his face for an hour.

That will demonstrate that you need not go on a 'hostile person's training course' as you are clearly adept at utilising hostility.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

C-Unit and I have come to the conclusion that you are none other than our long distance running, stickleback-loving friend Dickie Marauder.

Is this true?

Answer me!