Moff

Sorry for the slightly wayward nature of this post- there has been little time to write of late, but I felt like I should document the fact that I'm off for 2 months doing some work, sorry 'work' and having a holiday.

So after months of planning the Wednesday of the Brazil trip has very nearly arrived. Its been a hectic few weeks since JD did the deed on the sofa cushion, time which has seen me grow further apart from my housemates, and from which I am looking forward to the coming break. There have actually been a lot of interesting female interactions of late;

I had my first ex contact me through Facebook, and declare that we are 'friends', which is a bit rich seeing how we've had no contact for 6 years, and, had no more contact for about 2 weeks since we reestablished this 'friendship'.

A student in my office today seemed unnervingly attractive for a few minutes while we discussed her project, and the moment did its best not to pass.

Ive been having getting (and sending) a lot of texts and emails from my recently single friend, LEA, and have twice (though that's not including now, so three times really) considered what might have happened if my next trip was back to the homeland rather than to Manaus.

I have been finding my housemate, L-upstairs increasingly distant, annoying, and unjustifiably sexy in equal measure.

Nearly nine weeks away will hopefully be a multipurpose fire extinguisher for those flames, or at least stop them burning my mind while I'm away. The trip is 6 weeks in Brazil with work and then 3 weeks in Sumatra with my friend Barbie on holiday. I have left 5 hours between my return flight from Brazil gets in and my flight to Indonesia leaves.

That's plenty of time, right?

I hope so.

Ive been making a pile of stuff in my room to pack, and its quickly becoming a mountain with all the additional lab equipment I need to take. Things like 120 syringes in my bag might make a customs visit slightly interesting. That said, and already accepting a few more hassles and last minute problems tomorrow, there is going to be a point very soon when we board a boat to go on a research trip up the Amazon. I'm immensely looking forward to seeing the river and its wildlife up close. This is the type of trip that I got into science for, the type of trip that I dreamt of making as I watched fish swimming in the river Frome as a kid. There seems little doubt that it will be truly awesome- and that's before Ive even got on the plane to Sumatra. I just hope there's a pub in Manaus that will be showing England win the Rugby world cup on Saturday.

Until next time.

Oh no you didn't...

Ive never met a normal cat, but nevertheless I feel obliged to start this post with the information that JD is a strange cat. For a few weeks after he arrived he didn't even emerge from Catwoman's room when anyone was in the lounge. He was so scared by a sneeze, or a reach forward to pick up your drink, or a laugh, that I was amazed that he hadn't died of some stress related meltdown. Once I set the smoke alarm off twice in one night and he avoided me for a week.

Then he began to accept us. He'd allow me to stroke his back, play fetch with his little cotton ball, and eventually he'd come out looking for attention from me. This was more like the behaviour I was expecting. Cats are fine to have around the house, but I don't like their attitude at all. They're like 'oh give me a stroke, give me some food, give me a stroke' and then they fuck off and have a sleep. The girls go, 'oh isn't he so cute (when he buggers off after you've been serving him on hand and foot for an hour) and I'm like 'he's such a freeloader'- he never gives anything back apart from the occasional unprovoked scratch.

This morning I was heading downstairs for brekkie and I passed Doug who was on his way back up- carrying his breakfast with him.

'Oh have you seen the little present JD has left us in the lounge?'

'No, what....(mind ticks over- I know what a present is)...no he hasn't!'

'Yeah right on the sofa cushion'

Doug had been eating breakfast, wondering what the smell was for 10 minutes before realising the irregular brown pile of stuff on the cushion over from him was a cat log of epic proportions. JD really had dropped the kids off, released a trilogy, laid a brick etc etc. It was a jaguar sized log, not really anywhere near the small house cat size it should have been. No longer scared of his own tail, the meek cat had turned into the sort of monster who can shit on your sofa and then come out with a 'give me a stroke will ya' meow.

I stood their looking for a while, laughing a bit, marvelling a the size, saying stuff like 'JD what have you done?!' when I began wondering why Doug (and presumably everyone before him) had left it there on the sofa in all its glory. Surely it remaining in the house was not a good way of getting the smell to clear? They really are muppets. I carefully picked up the cusion and got it outside. I tipped/poured most of the solid/semi-solid into the bin, unzipped the cushion cover and removed the inner. It was bright white on the outside but had a circular core of bright yellow, which went all the way through. It looked a bit like a giant sweet, but smelt like the death of a relative. I wasnt sure what the next step was in cat shit decontamiation (I dont really want to put anything with shit on in the washing machine, do I? so I left the evidence to dry outside.

It was quite funny as far as cat shit in the lounge can be, but Im remaining firm on my stance that cats are not a good pet.

Too Smart to climb Everest Buddy

I don't think Id ever climb Everest. At present I'm not rich enough, or have the necessary experience, but if, say, I won the lottery on Sat (I might have you know, Ive not checked yet) and had the time and money to spare, I still don't think Id risk it. The difference between a good sea level physical challenge and high altitude mountaineering is that you cant prepare for how your body will respond to the extreme altitude. You can train all you want, get to the fittest you've ever been, then train for another 5 years and feel superhuman. It wont matter a jot. Sure, your fitness might help you on the lower slopes, and it will certainly help you recover and make the climbing days easier, but in terms of altitude related sickness it wont help you in the slightest. The two main altitude sickness killers- HACE and HAPE (build up of fluid in the brain and lungs) are thought to be genetically based and currently impossible to test for or predict. Low oxygen in the air makes you breath faster, your vascular system swells and speeds up to get more oxygen round your body, this can lead to a leakage of fluid and very quickly to death. Survival isn't anything to do with your training and preparation, your fitness, age, or anything else, its about your genes, and what methods of dealing with low oxygen your body has hard wired into it.













The reason im sharing this is because I watched the BBC Horizon programme last night called 'Doctors in the Death Zone' where a group of doctors climbed up Everest and conducted experiments on the slopes into the body's response to a lack of oxygen. They took an exercise bike to camp 4 at 7950 m which was an incredible sight- I just wish they had shown it strapped to one of the Sherpas back. They recorded the lowest ever blood oxygen content in a human that was still alive when they took an arterial sample from one of the team at 400m from the summit. It suffered, like most Horizons, from an over the top narration which tried to add more drama and suspense than was necessary, but it was still an amazing piece of work. The photography alone was fantastic. The small screen of YouTube doesn't really do it justice, but the footage of the team reaching the summit was absolutely breathtaking and gave an amazing insight into the challenges facing the climbers. TV like this is brilliant. Look out for it.